I thought toddlers aren't supposed to understand pronouns

Brandon doesn't really call too many people by their names. He knows what their names are, but he doesn't say them. The people who he calls by name are:

• Mommy
  
• Daddy
• Dee (short for JD - he can't make a J sound so he just skips it...usually he calls the baby "Baby")
• Pop
• I've heard him call Mikey "Gickey" a few times
• Gickeyouse (Mickey Mouse. He added the "ouse" to the end when he started calling Mikey "Gickey", I guess to differentiate between the two. I don't know why he doesn't say this one right, he can definitely say an M sound and he even says "mouse")
• Elmo (actually, all Sesame Street muppets are "eh-mos")
  
• Sally (from Cars)
• Coco (a friend from music class who we haven't seen in a while - he actually called her by her name before he ever said "Mommy")

He doesn't even say his own name. He answers to it, of course, but he doesn't say it. For the past few days, when you ask him what his name is, he'll sometimes say "Boppy". This is an interesting new development, because up until this point, the conversation would go something like this:

"What's your name?"
"Me!"
"Your name is Brandon. Can you say Brandon?"
"Ah-meeeeeeeeeee!"
"See, look at the blocks. Tell me what letter this is."
"Bee. Ah. Ay. Eh. Dee. OH!!!! Eh."
"Brrr-aaaan-don."
"Ah-MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!"

Every time we have this conversation, I think of the episode of Friends where Phoebe is trying to teach Joey how to speak French. I don't get as frustrated as Phoebe does, of course, but I just can't help but laugh.

oh dear God save me, Ralph is back

Tara asked me a question about one of my Twitter posts, and since I don't know how to reply via Twitter, and the answer really requires a video anyway, here it is:

Ralph is a supremely annoying "musician" who they used to show all the time on Playhouse Disney. He was gone for a while, and now he's back. If I ever saw him on the street, I would punch him in the throat.

Here's one of his old videos:

and the angels sang

This is my new Bialetti cappuccino maker. A stove-top cappuccino maker, you say? Does it really work? Is it any good? Abso-f**ing-lutely. Just look at that foam. That's the kind of foam you can't get from an affordable (read: cheap-ass) cappuccino maker. Trust me, I know. And the fact that it works on the stove-top as opposed to plugging in would be a definite benefit if, say, you were moving to another country where the voltage is different.

And, hey, the Italians invented espresso. If this is how they do it, that's good enough for me.

Add in the knowledge that getting a machine that can make cappuccino of this quality would usually cost you, oh, four or five times what this one cost...

This thing is the Holy Freaking Grail.

For a while I was worried about the "coffee grinder problem"; blade grinders don't produce an even enough grind for espresso, and burr grinders are just a wee bit too expensive for me...then I remembered that they sell bulk coffee beans at the Commissary, with an industrial strength coffee grinder right there in the coffee aisle. I can buy whichever beans I want (like a decaf dark roasted Kona blend, for instance) and grind it to a fine powder perfect for espresso just by turning a dial. Okay, so it won't be as fresh as if I ground the beans right before I brewed each pot, but since I'm buying in bulk, I can buy as much - or as little - as I want. Grinding once a week is good enough for me. Especially if it means not spending $100-200 on a grinder.

In other (related) news, my kitchen stuff started coming yesterday. The Fed-Ex man brought my cookware set, and the UPS man brought my enameled cast-iron skillet. That mofo is HEAVY. And pretty. And I saved a buttload by buying Lodge instead of Le Creuset. Sorry, I just don't see the point of spending $100 on a single frying pan. I can't afford to be label-conscious. I bought Lodge instead of Le Creuset; Cuisinart instead of All-Clad; Cuisipro instead of Microplane; Exopat instead of Silpat...and saved a bunch of money in the process.

Enough to buy my Bialetti. The exception that proves the rule.

Thank you, Mr, President

I think that the Economic Stimulus Package (or whatever they call it) is a stupid idea. Anyone with any brains will use the money to pay down their debt, or put it in savings, and then it isn't exactly doing much to stimulate the economy, is it?

Then again, as I have learned by "living amongst the rednecks like Jane Goodall", the American public at large isn't exactly smart.

I don't have any credit card debt. I do, however, have a decade-old set of cookware with chipping non-stick coating. And I do have brains, and a savings account, but I realized something: if we are having our tax money handed back to us for the purpose of stimulating the economy, then the best way to make sure that that money doesn't go to waste (in the larger scheme of things) is to do exactly what we're supposed to do with it: spend it.

And spend it I did; but I spent it wisely. I could have spent pretty much the entire check on a 7-piece set of copper core All Clad; but instead I got a 7-piece set of aluminum-clad Cuisinart cookware, and many other pots and pans and kitchen gadgets besides, which will arrive at my door in no less than six separate shipments.

And I really maximized Amazon's 4-for-3 promotion, too. If you buy four qualifying products, you get the lowest priced one for free. If you buy, say, twelve qualifying products, you get the three lowest priced for free. If, however, you were to take those twelve products and split them into three separate orders (with the four most expensive being one order, the four least expensive being another, and the four in the middle being the third) then you would get the lowest priced item in each order for free. So instead of saving $21.97, for instance, you could save $32.97.

And always make sure you check your "Gold Box" offers. One of my special deals was a pot that I happened to be buying anyway. So that was an extra savings of $2.50. Not a lot of money, but when you're pinching pennies to get as many items for your dream kitchen as you can with a set amount of money (because after all, Brian had to get some of it for his guitar building supplies)...hell, I'll take it.

And then...then...I went to Williams Sonoma and bought my cappuccino maker. And some fancy-schmancy imported Italian espresso. Hot dog! As soon as I get some milk I'll be all set.

Brandon loves his new "tahs"

If you've ever wondered what it would be like to have children with a professional guitar player, here are a couple of examples that will give you a pretty good idea.

Here's me sitting outside of a guitar store, feeding Jackson. This particular store is actually the first place we ever brought Brandon (other than the hospital for his follow-up weigh-in); I think he was maybe two weeks old. The banner in the window behind my head was a pretty cool coincidence.


And here's Brandon with the Little Martin that we bought for him to learn on in the future. Obviously he doesn't need any lessons in how to move like a rock star. I honestly don't know where he got this stuff from, because it's not exactly like Brian is doing windmills while he's practicing at home.


Yup, the family band is really shaping up.