Sunday, September 30, 2001

2 for $1 per pound

There is a little mouse walking around my apartment, in plain sight, almost as if it's pacing. It thinks it owns the joint. Sheesh.

Today I slept until almost 2pm (I am sick, I need my rest!), watched "Maternity Ward" on TLC (my new favorite cable channel) and went grocery shopping. They had acorn and butternut squash, which makes me happy b/c I love squash. The thing is, they were both marked "2 for $1", which seemed kind of odd. I looked more closely at the sign, and realized that it said, "2 for $1 per pound"...which doesn't make a lick of sense when you think about it. I figured it meant 50¢ per pound...but apparently it meant 69¢ per pound because that's what it says on my receipt. I swear, if I didn't live around the corner from this place, I would never shop there.

Today I discovered that Gerber brand "Lavender Wash" (aka, lavender scented baby wash) is the most awesome thing I've ever bought. It smells great, leaves my skin soft, provides for a nice, smooth shave (I'm too lazy to use a separate shave gel), and it doesn't turn my skin all red and bumpy. I truly believe that if you have sensitive skin, the best thing you can do for yourself is take a little trip down the baby aisle.

(However, I'd never even dream of using that stuff on my BABY - too chemical-y. I don't even use it for myself anymore. It's all about Burt's Bees for us now. - 3/20/07)

Saturday, September 29, 2001


I hate it when the directions for a microwavable food product say "Cook at 50% power ... DON'T COOK AT 100% POWER!!!" See, I have a simple little microwave with a dial instead of a keypad that cost about 40 bucks and DOESN'T HAVE A POWER SETTING. It's all or nothing with my microwave. So I end up with under/over-cooked bagel bites. (Which means, overcooked mini-bagels with still-frozen cheese on top.)


Did you know that, despite biologicially being a fruit, tomatoes were actually legally declared a vegetable by the Supreme Court in 1893? It's true.

Friday, September 28, 2001

two random quotes

"For most guys it's Princess Leia in the gold bikini...for Chris it was Stanley Kowalski with his shirt off."

"How do you practice to be an actor? Do you, like, lie a lot?"

"friends" season premiere

That was a really dirty trick they almost pulled on us.

(The dirty trick in question was when Phoebe told Rachel she wasn't pregnant, when she really was. - 3/20/07)

Thursday, September 27, 2001

how can you soar if you're nailed to the floor?

I have the CD of tick, tick...BOOM! and I totally adore it. I like Amy Spanger even less on the recording than I did in person. But I still simply adore the music...and Raul Esparza...

Wednesday, September 26, 2001

train of thought

I was reading some of my older entries, and it got me thinking, and now I have sudden urge to tell you some random things about myself (in a stream of consciousness kind of format):

When I was 14, I thought Eddie Vedder was the hottest thing on the planet

The guy I had a crush on for the 2nd half of freshman year (of high school) could recite pi to the 100th place, or something like that. That wasn't why I had a crush on him; it's just a fact. Also he was a Pearl Jam fan.

I watched "A Wedding Story" on TLC today. I love that show. That song that they play at the end of every episode seriously sucks, though.

My favorite movie when I was in 6th grade was Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.

My favorite movie now is The Princess Bride.

I am officially a "South Park Super Fan" - I answered all of the questions correctly. Not that they were all that difficult. I voted for "The Red Badge of Gayness" as my favorite episode - it's the one with the Civil War reenactment.

The book I am reading right now is "The Way of the Wizard" by Deepak Chopra. It's pretty cool.

One of life's happiest moments, for me, is when I walk past a flower shop and see that they have tulips for the first time that fall. Usually, this doesn't happen until October, but I saw tulips today and it made me very happy.

I started using baby shampoo today, on the logic that I probably won't become allergic to it, the way I become allergic to every other shampoo I use.

That's all. Thanks for reading.

Tuesday, September 25, 2001

clairol hydrience moisture-rich creme conditioner

You know that extra-super moisturizing conditioner that they give you a little tiny bottle of when you buy hair dye? I've always wondered why they don't just put it in bigger bottles and sell it separately (in addition to including little bottles with the dye). I know that I would buy it if they did. That stuff kicks ass.

Saturday, September 22, 2001


Another observation about fashion: if you're going to wear low-cut jeans, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, wear low-cut underwear too. Because nobody wants to see that.

Friday, September 21, 2001

available balance: $52.62

My bank always withholds some of my money when I make deposits - because I always use the ATM and the checks are usually out-of-state. This time they're withholding $100.16. Well all I can say is, they'd better make it available before the phone companies (Verizon [local] and Sprint PCS) cash my checks.

my adopted home

"Long before the Super Dome,
Where the Saints of football play,
Lived a city that the damned call home.
Hear their hellish roundelay:
New Orleans!
Home of pirates, drunks and whores,
New Orleans!
Tacky, over-priced souvenir stores
If you wanna go to hell,
You should take a trip
To the Soddom and Gomorrah on the Mississip'
New Orleans!
Stinking, rotten, vomiting, vile
New Orleans!
Putrid, brackish, maggoty, foul,
New Orleans!
Crummy, lousy, rancid and rank,
New Orleans!

-"Streetcar! - The Musical" on The Simpsons

Suzy Stars-and-Stripes' pet peeves

I would like to touch on two very different topics in today's entry.

First, as a self declared "Suzy Stars-and-Stripes" (I stayed up last night printing out stickers and magnets of the ribbon I have on the right, to hand out to people today...just because), I am troubled that people are hanging the American flag BACKWARDS. The blue field ALWAYS goes in the upper LEFT-hand corner - even when it's vertical. Which means that it isn't enough to rotate it, you have to flip it over, too.

Second: if you have very wide hips, you shouldn't wear very low-waisted jeans. I'm not being judgemental or sizist or anything; I just think that there's such a thing as dressing to your own best advantage. Dress to hide your flaws, not accentuate them. Duh.

Also, if you're a guy (and I don't care how gay you are), you shouldn't wear lace-up jeans or other such womanly clothing on a day-to-day basis. When you're dressing up to go to a club or whatever, fine. But for a regular just looks silly (to me, at least).

That is all.

(Here are two exceptions to the flag rule: and - however, this is not what I was referring to in this entry; I was talking about people hanging a one-sided flag vertically, backwards because it is one-sided. For more information, and a neat list of famous people - including the president - violating the flag code, go to - 3/20/07)

Thursday, September 20, 2001

by the way...

I didn't buy any amaretto yesterday...I didn't feel like walking all the way to the liquor store. (All 6 or 7 blocks...what can I say, I'm lazy.) Instead I bought a 6-pack of Mike's Hard Lemonade. And you know what? They didn't even card me. I go to this store, like, once a week to buy flowers, a frappuccino and twizzlers...never once have I bought'd think they'd think that something was a little odd. I mean, who buys hard lemonade at 3pm on a Tuesday? And somebody told me later that night that they thought I was 19.

To sum up: I wasn't carded and I'm disappointed.

Wednesday, September 19, 2001

physical challenge

Hey...remember Double Dare? Remember the obstacle course? Remember how amazingly kick-ass it was? You know, with the chocolate-covered slides that ended in a big pool of whipped cream? I STILL wish I could run the obstacle course on Double Dare.

Tuesday, September 18, 2001


Hey! I'm 21! As long as I'm still awake I think I'll have some of that cheesecake now...

one day 'til "legal"

Tomorrow the only class I have is cancelled b/c of the Jewish Holiday. I have choir rehearsal in the evening, but I have the whole day free.

Tomorrow is also my birthday.

My 21st birthday.

I am still trying to decide whether I want to just go through the day as if it's just any normal day (aside from going to the liquor store and buying a bottle of Amaretto and some sour mix), or if I want to wear a sparkly pink tiara and a t-shirt that says "I'M 21!!!"

Maybe I'll bake some cupcakes to bring to choir rehearsal, you know, like we used to do in elementary school...but only if I go the sparkly-pink-tiara route.

Monday, September 17, 2001

i like cheesecake

I'm starting to wish I hadn't been so cautious; I wish I had been at home with my family this weekend...not because my birthday is coming up, but because I just hate being alone.

I bought myself a cheesecake to eat on Tuesday (instead of baking a cake).

Speaking of Cake, they are a really cool band.

to clarify

I've calmed down a little over the past few days and I want to write a little bit more about a topic I touched on a few days ago.

I still think that some kind of military action is necessary...but only for the purposes of protecting innocent people and making sure that those responsible for this can't do it ever again to anybody else. I have seen and heard so much talk about revenge that I am almost sickened. (I'm not quite there yet, however, because I can understand that a lot of people are still very, very angry.) I actually saw a religious leader (I don't remember from which religion) on television today, say that revenge is justified...that vengeance is the right thing to do.

No, no, no, no, no.

Vengeance belongs to God. It is not our place to decide who should receive what punishment. We must act out of a sense of protection and prevention, not out of a sense of anger. Jesus himself forgave the people who crucified him, because they did not know what they were doing. And while it is quite a stretch for me to even think this, let alone believe it (which I am trying to)...these people honestly believed that we, as Americans, all deserve to die. They honestly believe that we are sent by the devil; they believe that our military personnel are the soldiers of the devil; they believe that our civilians are evil. Which in no way excuses the thoughtless taking of thousands of human lives. However, the attitude that the terrorists hold, the attitude that brought this attack about, is the attitude that evil must be punished. These people believed that we had wronged them, and they took vengeance. That is why I am disturbed so deeply when Americans call out for revenge; they are displaying an attitude that, at its root, has much in common with the evil that we want to be rid of.

Those who have studied martial arts (or watched a lot of Bruce Lee movies) know that it never does anyone any good to strike out of anger. When you must strike (and indeed, I believe we must), it is imperative that you do it with a clear head.

I've been searching for a quote that clearly states the message I have been trying to convey, and surprisingly, it didn't come from the Bible or Zen teachings; it comes from a Will Smith song:

"Throughout your life people will make you mad,
Disrespect you and treat you bad.
Let God deal with the things they do
'Cause hate in your heart will consume you, too."

(The original post that this one refers to, I chose not to transfer over to these archives because it was just too rambling and angry. But the basic message of this one still rings true, I think. I also feel compelled to mention that this was originally written LONG before we sent troops into Iraq. -3/29/07)

Saturday, September 15, 2001

4 types of reaction

Yesterday, and especially the day before, there were three kinds of people on the street: those who were dazed, those who looked half-dead, and those who looked like they were in pain. Today I saw a fourth kind of person: smiling, trying as best they can to go on with life as usual. Well God bless them, we need more people like that to snap the rest of us out of it.

Friday, September 14, 2001

maybe I'll bake myself a cake

I was supposed to visit my family for the weekend; my birthday is next Tuesday. For those who don't know, my family lives on Long Island, about 45min from Manhattan. Being that any public transportation route to LI necessitates going through Manhattan (& changing trains there), it just doesn't seem worth it...even if I had a car, the only other way in requires going through Staten Island, which was closed for a while today. Either that or go all the way around north to the Throgs Neck Bridge...but I digress.

My point was going to be that it just didn't seem worth the risk. It was when midtown was being evacuated that I came to this decision.

Well anyways, I'd been saying for the past couple of weeks that I just want to pretend my birthday doesn't exist, since the last couple I had were pretty disappointing. Well, I got my wish, but I wish I hadn't.

Thursday, September 13, 2001


Here's a tip: if you're already freaking out and bordering on hysteria, DON'T start doing internet research on Nostradamus...because then you'll start reading things from Revelations and the Hopis and some chick who wrote a big long poem... You'll start reading things about World War III and the Anti-Christ and Armageddon and rivers running with blood and most of the earth perishing and turning on its axis and the aliens coming to usher in a new era of peace.

I just had to close my window b/c the delivery trucks and stuff sound like airplanes to me.

My loud neighbor is blasting music again. It isn't pissing me off this time, it's just adding to my nervousness.

There was a guy handing out copies of the Gideon Bible in front of my school's that pocket-sized version that contains the Psalms and the New Testament. As I held it in my hands, waiting for the elevator, all that I could think was, "This is what they give you when you go to boot camp."

more or less

In the best indication that I can think of that things are getting back to normal, I got a phone call today from a phone company asking me to switch my calling plan.

Wednesday, September 12, 2001

tom brokaw declares war

I just turned off my TV for the first time in about 14 hours. This was my day.

My alarm went off at 9am. I hit the snooze button, then I hit it again...then my phone rang. I grumpily dragged myself out of bed and across my apartment.

"You should turn on the TV, hon. A couple of hijacked planes crashed into the World Trade Center. They think one of them has structural damage. I thought you should know."

"Okay, whatever."

I gathered up my pillows, moved to the couch, and set the alarm on my phone for 11am, convinced that I would fall back asleep in front of the TV. As soon as I turned it on, however, I knew that I was wrong.

I sat there, utterly intrigued and a little frightened, watching the story play out. I'll never forget hearing, "I don't want to alarm anybody, but it just felt like there was an explosion here at the Pentagon." At this point I started to panic. This was probably also the first time I burst into tears.

Next I heard about the plane that went down near Pittsburgh. Now I was really frantic. Philadelphia could be next, and I live about five blocks from City Hall. In fact I live directly in the shadow of the Drake Tower, one of the taller buildings in Center City. "Every year I learn another reason why it's not good to live right in the middle of a major city," I thought (the protests surrounding the RNC last summer were quite frightening).

I tried to call my mother's cell phone but was unsuccessful. All I wanted was for her to tell me what to do. Should I go to class today? Should I stay put? Should I try to get out of the city? Philadelphia Int'l Airport was announced to be closed a full 10-15 minutes before the FAA closed all of the Airports in the US; I think that this was the moment that made me fear for my life.

At around 10am I decided to take a shower and get dressed, so as to be ready in case of...I don't know what. When I came back into the living room, I saw that the first tower had collapsed. I absolutely could not believe it. One tower? It was inconceivable. I cried harder than I had ever thought possible. Then I flew into a panicked frenzy, running around my apartment, throwing clothing (and wedding-planning materials) into my suitcase, packing up my laptop, throwing school work and first-aid supplies into my messenger bag.

Then I sat down to wait. The second building collapsed, and I didn't know how to react. I wanted to flee, but I had nowhere to go, and the public transportation was basically shut down; besides which, I would have to go towards the highest buildings in the city to get to the trains.

When I learned that all Philly schools were closing at noon, I knew that I would not be going to my 1pm ballet class, whether UArts was closed or not (I still don't know whether it was). Besides fearing for my life, it just seemed so trivial.

It was at around this point that I started keeping a diary, and this is what I wrote throughout the day and evening:

12:54 pm
Everything seems so trivial. How could I possibly even think about going to class at a time like this...a ballet class, no less.
This is it. Is there really any way to get over this? To recover? Things can't ever possibly be the same again. How can anyone ever feel the same when they look at the NY skyline & the twin towers are gone?
They used our own planes against us. God.
Obviously the plane that crashed outside of Pittsburgh didn't hit where it was supposed to. God I shudder to think where it was supposed to hit.
Why on earth would they tell everyone with a TV where they're bringing the President?

Finally, local NY news (on VH1). MTV is still showing their regular broadcast. How dare they; they are owned by the same people.

If I were in NY, I would totally go to give blood.
I hear helicopters.
At least they stopped the construction [on the Kimmel Center in Philly] around noon.
LIE is shut down west of 106/107. My parents live just west of 106/107.

Why are people criticizing the military? What could they have possibly done to prevent this? They used our own planes w/our own citizens aboard. We would never have forgiven our military if they had shot down our own people. That was the evil genius of it - even if we had known what they intended - which we couldn't possibly have known - there's nothing that could've been done.

Another building fell down. My God.

I napped from about 2:15-2:45, and when I woke up, everything seemed even more surreal.
Sen. Hilary Clinton (D-NY) is doing a hell of a better job of being calming than our esteemed President.

Lord, help their families. Help them to understand why this happened. I know that there is some reason why you allowed this to happen, but help us to understand it; if not in our heads, then at least in our hearts.

I want to be in a Church somewhere but I'm afraid to leave my apartment. I just want to wake up tomorrow and find that none of this had really happened. What scares me the most is the future. What is going to happen? How many more people are going to die as a result of this?

There are still helicopters; I can hear them. I wonder if everything will be back to normal tomorrow. I wonder if anything will be back to normal, ever.

Why does it have to take something like this to bring together everyone in the country? To erase political schisms and agendas. Why can't it be like this always?
God bless America, indeed.

I just start crying and I can't control it.

Holy shit. $5 per gallon for gas in Kansas.

The Palestinians who are celebrating...they are calling out, "God is great." People who hide behind religion to commit horrific acts are cowards. These things are clearly against God's laws and wishes, no matter who your God should happen to be.

I should be doing homework. I have sooo much to get done. But I can't bring myself to leave the TV, and I can't bring myself to do something as trivial as play analysis or math problems.

New York City. How did this happen to NYC? Manhattan...we've always felt so invulnerable.

How can the Twin Towers just be gone? I never got to do the tourist thing...
I hope I see a bloodmobile tomorrow. It's a shame I'm not Type O.
They really need to do a better job with [Philadelphia] Mayor Street's teleprompter. They're making him look stupid.

Still, the helicopter

My children will not know what it's like to drive past Manhattan and see the skyline that I grew up with. They won't know what it's like to feel safe.

I've been watching the news for about 11.5 hours now. It's all so inconceivable. This didn't really happen, did it?

wtc no more

This isn't supposed to happen in America

Tuesday, September 11, 2001

mighty mouse

A mouse just walked by. You read that right. It didn't run, or scamper, or scurry. It walked. Since I am providing them with shelter (my apartment), sustenance (papers, the sheet on my futon, and the dried flowers that I carried in my sisters wedding [they weren't dried at the time, they're dried now]), and a maid service (my vacuum cleaner, which cleans up their little mousey droppings), you'd think that they would at least show me the respect of pretending that they're afraid of me.

"Hell is other people"

"Someone always ends up saying, 'why do we always have this argument?' To which, of course, there is no answer."

-Toby Zinman (my awesome, awesome American Playwrights teacher)

Wednesday, September 5, 2001

you call this rock?

I feel bad for teenage boys because rock music today sucks. Maybe that's why I'm a pop fan.

Tuesday, September 4, 2001


The lightbulb in my living room just blew out. This sucks because the ceilings are like 70 feet high. (Okay, a slight exaggeration - but they're high and I'm on the short side.)

And I thought to myself, "Geez! It seems like I was just up there, teetering perilously atop a stepladder, replacing the lightbulb in that sorry excuse for a lighting fixture."

Then I remembered that the last time I had to change a bulb was when all of them blew out around the same time, which was shortly after I moved in...which was a full two years ago.

My, how time does fly.

what is WRONG with this guy?

I wasn't going to update anymore tonight, but I just HAVE to, I am DISGUSTED by something...

So I was clicking "random" on my different diary rings and I ended up at this one stereotypical 14-year-old's diary. The difference was, at the bottom were a bunch of countdowns (kind of like the one I have to my wedding). One was until her 15th birthday (almost a year). One was until her boyfriend's 21st birthday (less than a month). One was until her 18th birthday, and one was until her WEDDING DAY (when she's around 19).

Yuk, yuk, yuk. I'm all for "age is a number" and all, and I've had my share of "you're too young to be getting married" comments (incidentally, from people who DON'T know me at all), but this girl is barely 14. Her boyfriend is MY AGE and there is just something wrong with that as far as I can see. I remember when I was 14, MY GOD it's like I was a different person then...I couldn't even IMAGINE having dated someone SEVEN YEARS OLDER than me...and in NO WAY could I EVER imagine dating someone SEVEN YEARS YOUNGER than me now.

I have no doubt in my mind that this "wedding" of hers will probably not pan out; but that still doesn't erase the fact that it's just plain CREEPY that she's even DATING this guy. Yuk, yuk, yuk.

Sorry about all the shouting, but I am just appalled. Yuk, yuk, yuk.

Monday, September 3, 2001

see, obsessive

Today I went through my collection of bridal magazines, ripping out the pages that I liked and filing them away, so that I could throw away the magazines themselves. And with good you know how many of those things I actually had? 31. (And I have more in New Orleans, 2 or 3 I think.)

Keep in mind that I still have a year and almost 4 months to go until the wedding. (Then again, I've already been engaged for almost 10 months...and I've been buying the magazines for longer than that, I admit it.)

I was going to save all of them so that by the time the wedding came, I could get my picture taken standing next to the stack of magazines that was taller than me. Then I realized that the stack would probably fall over and kill me. So instead I'm just saving the covers from all of them. Don't ask me why...I guess to prove what a crazy magazine addict I am. I am the queen of wedding magazines!!! hahahahahaha!

(I think I still have all of those covers filed away somewhere. - 3/19/07)

Sunday, September 2, 2001

it's 3am (i must be lonely)


-- Click Here To Take The Test --

At least I didn't rate "Very High" in anything.

My answers might have been affected by the fact that it's (almost) 3am - I must be lonely - and I am quite the tired Kerry. I just can't muster up the energy to fold up and put away all the laundry on my bed and it's just easier to stay on the internet in the other room. My fingers feel funny.

I must be lonelyyyyyyy hey well she says baaaaabyyyyyyyy yeea-uh well I can't help but be scared of it aaaaaaaaall sometimes....

I am writing this in Notepad b/c "sorry, we're just doing some fixing to the site right this second, so certain users can't add entries. it'll be back very soon!"

The funny thing about this disorders test, is that a while back (like a year ago, at least), I thought that an internet quiz that told you what's wrong with you psychologically would be really awesome, and I was going to write to and suggest it...I don't remember if I ever did. At any rate, The Spark has the best quizzes, and this one was kind of interesting and I think I'll go to bed now.

(When you change your time zone in the Blogger settings, it changes the time stamp on all of your previous entries as well. This entry was originally written at 2:58am. - 3/19/07)

i want my mtv

My muscles are killing me. Ah, yes, this is what it feels like to be a musical theater major.

I'm watching MTV, and I'm seeing the video for "Short Skirt/Long Jacket" by Cake for the first time, and it is soooooo cool. I mean, I totally adore the song, and for the video, they just kind of went up to random people on the street and had them listen to the song on headphones and videotaped their reactions. People either hate it or love it. A bunch of them are dancing like idiots in the middle of the street. I cannot express how cool it is.

I also saw the video for "Weapon of Choice" again...I still love it.

I guess in order to actually see videos on MTV, you have to watch pretty late. I mean, some of the shows they have are pretty cool...but wouldn't you expect MTV to be MUSIC TELEVISION, and MTV2 to be shows and such? How much does it suck that in order to get 24-hour music videos, you have to pay more, b/c MTV2 isn't on basic cable? I think that's pretty dumb.

Remember when VH1 was totally uncool? I love VH1 b/c their shows have to do with MUSIC. They were having a "below the belt" marathon on today (it's a kind of documentary show about sexuality in rock & roll) and one of the people they interviewed in a lot of the episodes is one of my professors. On TV, she seems so calm and knowledgable. In real life, she's on speed.

Hip hip videos...they still make videos like this? Girls in bikinis with bouncing boobies, guys being "tough"? Geez.

thus commences today's train-of-thought entry.

Saturday, September 1, 2001

like merlin, revisited

I had a dance class first dance class since like, April or May, I don't remember.

My legs hurt.

My smoke alarm just went off and I had to disconnect it.

One of the SNL's with Pearl Jam is on Comedy Central right now and I am enjoying it.

It's kind of funny, when I think about it. When I was 14, I was soooo into Pearl Jam. Now that I'm 20, I'm soooo into NSync.

Like I said before, I'm living backwards.