Friday, November 30, 2001

wedding stress

Frankly, I'm just about ready to throw in the towel.

The one detail about my wedding that I've done the most thinking and planning and agonizing over is the flowers. I was even planning on doing them myself - you can do that, you know. There are all these companies that will ship bunches of flowers to you for wholesale prices, and then you arrange them yourself. So I was going to do that. I was looking forward to it. (Remember, I do want to be a florist someday.)

Then I realized that since my wedding is the same week as Christmas, the shipping situation would be uncertain. And I didn't want to risk it. So I went to see a real florist.

Now, having done the research and practicing in order to arrange the flowers myself, I knew exctly what I wanted and why, I knew that it would work, and I even knew HOW to do it. I just didn't know how to acquire the flowers themselves.

So the florist tries to tell me that you can't make a lily bouquet in the size I want. They're just too big to make a bouquet that small. Well just a couple of weeks ago, I MADE a bouquet out of 10 lilies, and thought to myself, "Nah, it needs to be a little BIGGER than this."

And honestly, if you went to a wedding, and the bows on the pews were navy blue (not baby blue or sky blue...NAVY blue), would you think that either: a, I was pregnant with a boy and trying to tell everyone this in a covert way; b, the bows were left over from a christening and I was too cheap to get my own; or c, HEY LOOK, NAVY BLUE BOWS! THEY MATCH EVERYTHING ELSE!

Honestly.

Wednesday, November 28, 2001

i hate stress

I just wanted to let you all know that I haven't contracted anthrax or anything; I just haven't been on the computer much lately.

Tonight I had the dance audition for next semester's show (Sweet Charity), and there was this whole big drama about whether I would make it on time. See, the first group was at 6. On Tuesday nights I go to choir rehearsal out in the suburbs, and the van for us city dwellers leaves at 6.

Now rehearsal usually ends at or around 9:30 and we're back to the city by 10 or 10:15. The last audition slot was at 10:30, so I figured, cool, I'll make it with just enough time to stretch out and warm up, even if rehearsal runs a little late.

WELL, today rehearsal ran later than it ever has, as far as I can remember. A WHOLE HALF HOUR LATE. I was literally SHAKING, I was so pissed off. Have you ever been so mad, that you cried? It's not fun.

So we don't even leave until 10:08...and it takes about a half an hour to get back.

Luckily, we made remarkably good time. We didn't run into any traffic...until we were 2 blocks away from where the audition was (where I was going to be dropped off)...traffic was practically at a standstill. It was 10:28 by this point.

SO I jumped out of the van and RAN MY ASS OFF for the last 2 blocks.

Mind you, I have exercise-induced athsma. I made sure I had my inhaler in my hand before I leaped out of the van.

So I get to the building, ignore the security desk (I'm pretty sure I was supposed to sign in) run up the stairs to the second floor...and find that they were running 10 minutes behind schedule.

HOLY GOD WAS THIS WHOLE ORDEAL STRESSFULL!!!!

All this for a show I know I won't get into anyway. I'm just auditioning because it's required.

Wednesday, November 21, 2001

yay thanksgiving

I'm going hoooooooome toooomoorrrrooowww!!!!

I'm excited because I'll be doing some serious wedding planning while I'm there.

Also because I love Thanksgiving, because I love turkey and cranberry sauce and sweet potatoes and rice pudding. I'm never hungry enough to eat more than a tiny little fraction of a meal, but for some reason on Thanksgiving, I'm actually HUNGRY. And I eat. A lot.

Oh and I'm getting my hair trimmed. I love getting my hair trimmed. I'm weird like that.

Tuesday, November 20, 2001

collegiate theater

Today I realized that I was a week ahead of myself.

I thought that the master class I had to go to was tonight; I thought that auditions for next semester's shows were tonight, tomorrow and Wednesday. I was wrong. They're all next week.

I will be uncharacteristically prepared for auditions this semester. Just as well; it's their last chance to realize the talent that is gurgling inside of me and put it to good use.

But Sweet Charity rehearses on Good Friday and Holy Saturday (they referred to it as Easter Saturday....um, what? Holy Saturday! Right?) ... so anyways I don't really want to deal with that. I don't even go to CLASS on Good Friday.

Not that I'm likely to get cast anyway. I'm not a dancer and the senior class has been basically ass-f*cked as far as casting the entire time we've been here.

Except for the favorites, of course.

Don't get me wrong, they're incredibly talented people and would deserve every role they've gotten...if it weren't for the fact that this is an educational institution, and the productions are allegedly an integral part of the training.

Which raises an interesting question about collegiate theater, in the context of a conservatory training program.

It is perfectly understandable and acceptable, in my opinion, in a "traditional" university, to cast the same people over and over again on the grounds that they are "the best" (or at the very least, the favorites) on the logic that it would make the best show.

But when the productions are allegedly part of the training that ALL of the students are PAYING to receive, then what is more important? Putting on the best show possible, or giving as many students as possible the opportunity to LEARN?

Which is not to say that the people who don't ever get cast wouldn't make for a fabulous show, too. That's what makes it so frustratingly bizarre; amazingly talented people are passed over for utterly unknown reasons. I can't even truthfully say that it all has to do with politics.

It's like they choose from the very beginning of freshman year who's going to get all the good parts, and they stick to that.

And these people are usually incredibly talented, deserving, lovely, kind people...usually the least back-stabbing, most honest people around. So I don't blame them.

I blame the people in charge.

Well they have one more chance to redeem themselves in my eyes.

I hope they don't blow it. Not for my sake, but for the sake of collegiate-theater-in-the-context-of-a-conservatory-training-program everywhere.

I honestly meant for this to be a really short entry.

Sunday, November 18, 2001

disorders

I took this test again:
DisorderRating
Paranoid:Low
Schizoid:Low
Schizotypal:Moderate
Antisocial:Low
Borderline:Low
Histrionic:Moderate
Narcissistic:Moderate
Avoidant:Moderate
Dependent:Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:High

-- Click Here To Take The Test --

I was right last time, most of my answers were affected by it being so late.

But I still rated high for obsessive-compulsive. I guess it makes sense. But as I also said before, at least I didn't rate "very high".

chicken soup

I just made a quick run to Food Rite because I was craving chicken soup. It was an unusually eventful, if quick, trip.

First of all, Campbell's condensed chicken noodle soup was 79¢ a can. Granted, chicken noodle isn't my favorite variety of condensed soup (chicken & stars is), but hey, for half the regular price, how could I argue? I got 3 cans.

2-Liter bottles of Pepsi were 99¢ so I picked one up.

I almost got shrimp because they seemed to be of a nice large size & good quality, but the price was on the high side so I passed on that.

Tyson chicken breast was 1.99 per pound, so I got two packages.

I also got the Progresso Chicken Vegetable that I've been craving, and a bag of cranberries for 99¢ to make a garland & decorate my christmas tree with. (It's getting to be that time!)

And then evil pigeon lady checked me out (checked out my groceries, I mean - she works there, remember) and SHE WAS NICE TO ME!!!! Weird.

So now I'm eating my soup and listening to Children of Eden - which happens so be my favorite musical. I've had this CD for about 3 years and I just adore singing along. Imagine my delight when my voice teacher pulled out "The Spark of Creation" a couple of weeks ago and suggested that we should work on it. I couldn't be more thrilled. =)

Hey, it's me in a good mood! How about that!

Saturday, November 17, 2001

ah, the drama

I just tried to put away a carton of orange juice by putting it in the cabinet.

I am tired.

Too bad my neighbor decided to have a party tonight.

Too bad I had to call my landlord and let him know.

People, people...I know that it's Friday night and all...but when I signed my lease, I agreed to be quiet between 10:30pm and 8:00am, as did he when he signed HIS lease.

I've asked nicely. It didn't work. So I started calling to complain.

One day my landlord called me and told me that he had given this guy a warning, and if he got any more comlaints, the guy would be evicted. (Apparently, I'm not the only one who complained. I'm the only one who's able to hear the loud music, since he's right below me, but EVERYONE can hear what goes on in the courtyard.)

That following weekend was the time when I yelled out the window, asking him and the really loud girl who comes over a lot to be quiet, because they were keeping people awake. (This was on a Saturday night.)

He yelled back, in an exceedingly rude tone of voice, "Why? You don't have to work tomorrow."

WELL HOW THE HELL DOES HE KNOW WHAT I DO ON SUNDAY MORNINGS?

There are people who live in this building who work at hospitals. There's a policeman who lives in this building. I DO happen to work on Sunday mornings sometimes, at church. And I was planning on waking up the next day to go to church.

It just seemed really rude to me.

My landlord's voicemail got 3 or 4 calls from me that night, between 12 and 4am.

Mind you, my landlord had just CALLED ME 8 days earlier, to tell me that this guy would be evicted if anyone else complained.

So I was pretty sure that he'd get evicted. I was all excited...

This was in September. The early morning hours of the 16th, to be exact.

Well, he's still here, so either my messages haven't been reaching my landlord, or he lied to me.

I'm still trying to get him evicted, though.

The fact that he's the only downstairs neighbor I've ever had who I've actually SEEN, because he's in my math class, means nothing to me. You might think that having some idea of who he is would make me less likely to want him thrown out on his ass, but I honestly don't give a rat's ass. I don't care. It doesn't even matter to me that he is one of four whole people in the class (out of about 30) who know what the hell is going on. Get him the hell out of here. He is by far the worst neighbor I've ever had.

*Ahem*

Thank you for listening.

rude & loud part 2

And they are smoking so much that it is seeping in through my closed windows and my apartment is starting to to smell like stale cigarette smoke. (I know it is b/c of them, because I do not smoke.)

And despite being outside, they turned the music on inside, too.

I hate them all.

rude & loud

I'd like to go to bed, really I would...but loud-downstairs-neighbor boy has people over (including I'm-not-able-to-control-the-volume-of-my-voice girl), and they're sitting out in the courtyard. So it's really pretty pointless to even try to get to sleep.

pigeon lady part 2

Evil pigeon lady smokes in the vestibule of our building.

There are two doors; the one that doesn't lock, and then the one that does. There's this tiny little 3 foot by 3 foot area in between. And she stands there and smokes.

How difficult is it to walk the extra 2 steps outside?

It's not like it's even been COLD.

I hate people sometimes.

Tuesday, November 13, 2001

new jersey

Teacher: "Who knows how many feet are in a mile? ... I don't know."
Lou: "5,280."
Nia: "How did you that? Who knows that off the top of their head?"
Lou: "It's just something I had to memorize."
Me: "Why?"
Lou: "In high school."
Me: "Well no wonder people from New Jersey don't have any practical knowledge."
Lou: "I hate you."

Lou doesn't really hate me. He's my best non-fiance friend in the whole wide world.

And I didn't mean to say that people from New Jersey are stupid or anything. But most people I know who were educated in New Jersey have gaps in their knowledge.

For example, Portugal is not a city in Brazil.

Mostly it's just that people from Long Island hate New Jersey. It's part of our heritage.

Or maybe it was just the people in my senior year social studies class. Alex and Ross used to call New Jersey "the armpit of the country".

Keep in mind that I'm marrying someone who grew up in South Jersey. Which is really a lot like Long Island in a lot of ways.

I have just made myself look really, reeeeeally bad, and any of my readers who are from New Jersey just vowed never to read me again.

Oh well, I'll just get some new ones from google. BARELY LEGAL FAKE BOOBS BRITNEY SPEARS.

Ahem. That is all.

Monday, November 12, 2001

next stop on the tour...me

Today three asian tourists who barely spoke English stopped me on the street, with a camera. I thought they wanted me to take a picture of them in front of City Hall, so I said "sure".

Imagine my surprise when one of them put his arm around me and the guy with the camera took a picture of us.

I guess I just look American or something.

Sunday, November 11, 2001

i said this today:

"I would! I would! That is the goddamned truth! I would LOVE to be a professional frolicker."

Saturday, November 10, 2001

pigeon lady

I just came from dance class. I was dancing up a storm! Especially considering that I overdid the twisting stretch thingie in Yoga on Wednesday, and I've been barely able to move at all since then. Today I overdid a lot of things so I may not be getting out of bed at all tomorrow.

Anyways.

Evil pigeon lady works at Food Rite.

I don't think I've ever mentioned her before. There's this lady who lives in my building, who dumps bags and bags of bread (not bread crumbs, BREAD) on the sidewalk on our street, drawing flocks and flocks of pigeons that I have to literally WADE through to get home from class.

Oh, yeah, and I have reason to suspect that she's the one who left the front door of the building unlocked, allowing unscrupulous people to enter the building, pry my door open and steal my stuff about a year ago.

So anyways, I don't know why I never noticed that she works at Food Rite, but she does.

So THAT'S where she gets the bread from.

Well at least we know that they're not selling US the stale bread.

Friday, November 9, 2001

boring class

Today I overslept by four hours.

I have no idea how it happened.

I blame my alarm clock.

Well, sleeping through class at home is better than sleeping through class while actually IN class. Which I've been on the verge of for the past two weeks.

Seriously, the class is boring.

So boring that I couldn't even wake up to GET to it.

So maybe I don't blame the alarm clock. No, I blame the class that I slept through.

It is the class' fault that I didn't wake up to go to it.

Yup.

I hope it's happy.

Thursday, November 8, 2001

unintentionally political

Have you ever sat down to write a play, or a story, or anything...just meaning to tell a story, just about people...and it came out with a really strong message?

I have never in my life set out to write something political or controversial, but the play that I am working on right now...well, it makes a pretty strong statement. And I didn't mean to make a statement with it. That's just how it came out.

I'm not going to say what it's about, because I don't feel like dragging controversial topics into this diary. I will tell you, however, that I got the idea for it while listening to the song "Brick" by Ben Folds Five. (Remember that song? From 1998? It was a good song.) I kept thinking, "I wonder what happened to these people after this all happened."

So I just basically told you what the play is about...assuming you know what the song is about...but I'm not going to say any more.

And I'm babbling again.

That is all.

inspiration

I haven't been writing lately, because I haven't been going online at night, in an attempt to get more sleep.

Of course it's pointless.

The day after I finished my website and got it up (it might still be up but I haven't touched it in years - 3/29/07), I intended to go to bed early...like, 11:30. As I was getting ready for bed, a couple of lines of dialogue popped into my head, for the play I've been trying to write since May. I keep on writing it and rewriting it and I'm never happy with what I come up with. Now these two lines of dialogue were really good. So I grabbed a notebook and a pen and I wrote them down.

Three hours later, it's 2am and the whole second half of the play is written.

The next night, I sat down at around 10:30 to type out what I'd written. 3am rolls around and the whole first draft is done.

Inspiration doesn't strike me; it smashes me with a sledgehammer.

Saturday, November 3, 2001

cherry coke

I've been trying to cut back on my caffeine intake. When I finished my last bottle of soda, I didn't buy another one. I bought a can of soda on my way home from my voice lesson today, to have with my lunch, and figured that that would be enough.

Nope.

9:30pm rolls around, and all I can think of is soda. Soda! SODA! SODA!! So I put on my sneakers, grab two quarters, go around the corner and buy a can of Cherry Coke from the machine in front of Food Rite.

I've been known to say that the only good thing about Food Rite is that they sell uncooked shrimp. I take that back. I also enjoy that their soda machine only costs 50 cents - and it has Cherry Coke and Root Beer! Not many soda machines can claim that!

So anyway, I later realized that I drank a can of Cherry Coke at 9:30pm, so I probably won't be going to bed early tonight.

Are there any 12-step programs for caffeine?

chicken

When you buy Perdue Shortcuts (you know, the pre-cooked pieces of chicken), the package says "Please use within five days of opening bag."

As if it's a favor to them.