Monday, April 30, 2007

yay Blogger!

They fixed it! They fixed the bug! The dates on the archive aren't off by a year and a month anymore! Yeehaw!!
I'm way too excited about this.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

he loves the frog

Anyone who says something like, "oh, I LOVE that movie...I must have seen it at least a dozen times!" - as if a dozen is a lot of times to see the same movie - has obviously never had a toddler. I've watched The Muppet Movie at least a dozen times in the last two weeks. There are Muppets dancing through my dreams. I'd like to be able to say that the reason why Brandon knows the sign for "rainbow" is because we live in Hawaii, and it's the rainy season, and rainbows are therefore abundant. Nope. It's because he watches The Muppet Movie EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Brandon was just sitting on my lap at the computer, "helping" me to put together the video montage for his website that I've been working on (or putting off working on) for months now. He saw the "The Muppet Show: Music, Mayhem and More!" CD sitting in front of the computer, grabbed it, and said "wa diss". In other words, "watch this!" (He doesn't understand that it's an audio CD and not a DVD. He just sees the Muppets and thinks: Kermit! TV! Now!) But it figures that one of his first semi-coherent sentences would be a request to watch the Muppet Movie. After all, his first steps were towards his Baby Einstein DVD's.

I really wanted to raise him with less TV than I grew up with. Maybe that was too much to expect of myself.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

enough is enough!!!
I know that there are people out there writing NEW musicals - original, inventive, amazing musicals ... so WHY do they keep on adapting movies??? Enough is enough!! Let's get some originality back on Broadway, people! For the love of Ethel Merman!!

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

check it out!

Post #3 for today, just to tell you all to check out Double Exposures, a collaborative photo blog I just started with my friend Tara. She wrote a great description of it in her blog and I'm too lazy to try to write something so eloquent.


I'm on day 7 of a 7-day detox diet. It was in the March 2006 issue of Body & Soul magazine. I did it last year and had a really hard time with it - this year is going much, much better. For instance, I haven't gone through half a bottle of maple syrup. I went to a birthday party yesterday afternoon, and even though the sugary cake, and the bowl of Hershey's Kisses, and the chips and dip all looked delicious, I just had absolutely no desire to actually eat any of them. I happily munched on carrots, celery and cucumber slices, and had some yummy salmon when I got home.

Anyway, when I did it last year, a friend of mine told me that she'd had some amazing yoga/meditation sessions when she detoxed. I didn't. I was too embroiled in sugar withdrawal and exhaustion to have any epiphanies.

Yesterday morning, though, I had an amazing epiphany in yoga class. I was thinking about how on one of my yoga videos, Rainbeau Mars (what a name!) talks about gathering in the blessings and drawing them down through your body when you do your sun salutes, and I was picturing those "blessings" as energy floating around me, and I saw it swirling around as I moved.

And then I started picturing the air molecules that I was disturbing with my movements. And I realized: if a butterfly flapping its wings can cause a tornado, then what effect does my breath have, let alone my movements? And if brain waves are electricity, and therefore energy, and if matter is energy, then maybe thoughts can create, or at least affect, your reality.

When I told Brian about this last night, I said, "Can you imagine how much of a difference it would make in the world if everyone just breathed deeply?" And Brian said, "Or farted."

Mrs. Other Tucker

Last night we tried to watch Snakes on a Plane. I say tried, because it was just too awful and we turned it off. But, man, it was HILARIOUSLY ridiculous!

Since we did turn it off, I don't know if this was ever addressed, but...there are no snakes in Hawaii. And all agricultural products are inspected before they get on a plane in Hawaii. (The snakes were hidden in a case of orchid leis.) So I don't know where those snakes came from or how they got them onto the plane. I guess the mafia can do anything.

When we turned off Snakes on a Plane, we put on John Tucker Must Die instead. I didn't know why Brian had even put it on our Netflix list. Neither did he. We both thought it was going to be incredibly stupid. But guess what - it was good! (Grain of salt alert: I own Bring it On.) I laughed my ass off, seriously. It was actually pretty clever!

Brian pointed out that the archetypes for the main characters (excluding the ex-girlfriends) were Sandy from Grease, Zack from Saved by the Bell, and...well, John Mayer. Because the dude looked like John Mayer. Seriously.

It got me thinking: how many girls would actually go for the Zack Morris (John Tucker) rather than the John Mayer (the "Other Tucker")? I'd like to think that most women aren't that shallow and...well, stupid. But maybe I'm wrong. As for me, I can honestly say that I never dated a Zack Morris or a John Tucker. As a matter of fact, I married a blues guitar player, so that pretty much says it all. Yup, it's a John Mayer / "other Tucker" for me.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

told ya so

Remember how I was saying that eating right is good for your hair? Take Newsweek's word for it if you don't believe me.

Sunrise, Sunset

Originally uploaded by LavenderLily.

Brandon colors now. Mostly he takes the crayons out of the box and puts them in a basket, or a bowl, or the compartment under the seat of his ride-on toy; occasionally he'll chew on one, resulting in a black or magenta mouth and face; sometimes he peels the labels off; and sometimes he colors on his head or his arm or the living room chair (which, thankfully has a machine-washable slipcover - thank you Ikea); but sometimes the crayons actually touch paper.

I can't get over how grown-up he is. Yesterday after dinner, not only did he stoop down under the table to "help" me pick up the bits of food he had dropped - he actually put the pieces on the table. He really was helping.

The other day we went to a playgroup at a neighbor's house. Naptime was quickly approaching, and he started to get sleepy. Did he throw a tantrum? No. He touched my lap to get my attention, then picked up his shoes and sat down next to the front door. Communication is a glorious thing.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

what's the world coming to?

They're trying to change FDA regulations as to what can legally be called "chocolate".
I have eaten "chocolate flavored coating" and things like that...the kind of stuff that they're proposing would be now called chocolate...and the stuff sucks. It's honestly terrible. It's easy to check labels and make sure that they say "chocolate" and not "chocolate-flavored" or "chocolatey" - but I certainly don't want to have to read the BACK of the label of my candy bar just to make sure that it has actual cocoa butter in it. Sheesh.

coconut oil

This week the carnival topic is "Favorite Beauty Secret/Product".

I was actually already going to write an entry sometime this week about natural shampoos/conditioners. I recently started using Burt's Bees Super Shiny Grapefruit & Sugar Beet Shampoo and Conditioner. My hair is really soft, full of body, and ridiculously shiny.

A lot of people who try natural shampoos and conditioners don't like them because they feel like their hair is left feeling "damaged" - here's the thing, though: natural hair care products don't damage your hair, they just reveal the damage that was already there. "Conventional" shampoos and conditioners leave a residue on your hair that makes it seem soft, smooth and shiny - healthy - but it's just an illusion. It isn't actual your hair that's soft and shiny - it's the chemical residues. So the first time you use a natural shampoo & conditioner, your hair isn't going to seem as nice. But if you stick with it (and get the dead ends trimmed off), your hair will eventually become healthier - and it will actually be soft and shiny!

That's not my favorite beauty secret, though. Other than drinking lots of water, eating well (not dieting, counting carbs or points or whatever - actually eating well), and taking a flaxseed oil supplement, my favorite beauty secret is virgin coconut oil. Once a week, I dampen my hair, apply some coconut oil, comb it through, leave it in overnight, and wash it out in the morning. My hair has been crazy soft since I started doing this. Coconut oil is pretty expensive, but you only use a tiny bit and it's so worth it.

Monday, April 16, 2007

maybe he watches too much TV

We popped into Best Buy today. It was a quick trip so we didn't put Brandon in his stroller. After a few minutes, he inevitably wriggled out of Brian's arms and explored the store (with one or both of us right behind him, of course), eventually making his way to a display of children's DVDs.

Let me tell you, the people at Best Buy know what they're doing. The Little Einsteins DVD's were at the bottom, right at toddler eye-level. Brandon made a beeline for them and grabbed one. Luckily, I had a coupon in my wallet for $5 off of a Little Einsteins DVD (from the back of a box of Kix).

He held his new DVD all the way home. He even hugged it once. I've never seen him hug anything.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

we watch The Muppet Movie daily in my house

I don't know how it's possible, but when I was a kid it somehow went completely over my head that Miss Piggy is a terrible singer. How I managed to be so oblivious is totally incomprehensible to me now.

dream house

When I was a kid (we're talking, like, eight years old), my "dream house" had all kinds of outlandish features, including a white marble sunken bath tub with jacuzzi jets, a cherry orchard in the backyard, a spiral staircase, and a stream that ran throughout the house, culminating in a waterfall in the foyer.

Now, there are three things that I dream of when it comes to my future home: buffer space between me and my neighbors (in particular, not sharing a wall with anyone); a mailbox on the premises that I don't have to walk across the street, around the block or through the lobby to check; and color - walls that aren't white or off-white, and carpets and tile floors that aren't beige or taupe.

I still want lots of colorful flowers out front, and some flowering trees would be nice, but it looks like Brandon might be allergic to cherries, so I guess the cherry trees are out. Maybe a lilac tree or two, instead.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

i don't know what to title this entry

Brandon did a lot better this week at music class. Going to a second class didn't seem to phase him at all. (It probably helped that I gave him a snack while the first group of kids was leaving.) During the first class, he acted like the Mayor of Music Class, walking right up to any child (or baby) who wasn't participating and staring them down curiously. During the second class, he participated calmly, except for two small meltdowns - one, when I took away a small yellow flower (carried in by one of the other children) when he put it in his mouth, and one when I wiped a big boogie off of his nose. But overall, he did really, really well.

We have four more weeks of class before I get to sub for a week while my mentor goes to a convention on the mainland. I'm not sure if I'll be teaching all of her classes or just some of them - so it could be as many as ELEVEN classes. Oy. Trial by fire, anyone?

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

You have new Picture Mail!

I just set up this blog to be able to post directly from my cameraphone. I took this picture a while back during one of our after-dinner walks around the block.

I tried setting up flickr to be able to do the same thing but I haven't been able to get it to work. (Meaning, I can't post to flickr from my phone. I can post to this blog from flickr - I just haven't been inspired to do so yet.) I'm glad that posting here works!

The picture looks a bit better on the screen than it does on my phone, too, which is nice.

Saturday, April 7, 2007

new job

In case anyone hasn't been reading the comments, my new job is teaching music classes for children ages 0-5. I am apprenticing for the spring session and will get my own classes starting with the summer session. One of the really nice things about the job is that I get to bring Brandon with me - so instead of paying to take him to music class, I get paid - and I still get to bring him.

My first day at work (on Tuesday) wasn't anything spectacular. It was a lot like just going to music class as usual, except that I already knew all of the songs and most of the activities. I tried to sit out of the first class and observe, but by the 3rd or 4th song, Brandon had just about had it with my non-participation and literally took me by the hand and dragged me into the circle.

He didn't handle going to two classes in a row very well - he got pretty tired and cranky when we didn't go home and take a nap after the first class was over (even though it was a much earlier class than he's used to). I'm afraid that we may have made a pretty bad impression on some of the other parents. For instance, he tried to steal a bumbo seat from a baby - he actually tried to push her out of it. I think it was because I didn't let him steal the footstool out of the bathroom in between the classes and he wanted something to climb on. All I can really do is hope that he will adjust to going to two classes in a row, because he will have to do it at least once a week, maybe more, when I start teaching my own classes.

One really nice thing that happened, though, was that I got the keys to the studio (even though I won't need them until late May at the earliest). I've never had the keys to my workplace before - even when I worked the morning shift at the coffee shop - even after my coworker overslept and was almost an hour late to work one day and we lost a bunch of business - even then I still wasn't given a key. But I have one now. It's nice to be trusted.

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

"...for the Lord God omnipotent reigneth..."

Brandon just fell asleep in his crib. Without me in the room. In the middle of the day.
It took about an hour, and we have to leave for a doctor's appointment in about 45 minutes (not really long enough for him to get a good nap in), but still. He fell asleep. In his crib. Without my help. For a nap. It's a miracle!!!
I usually don't tell people when Brandon takes positive steps with his sleeping, because I don't want to jinx it. But it's not like I expect him to repeat this anytime soon anyway, so I figured I might as well share my joy.

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

the sorry salute

Before I get into the meat of this entry, there are three things that I said or thought today that I feel are relevant.
  1. Before Brian left for work this afternoon, he, as usual, told me to drive safely (Brandon was eating lunch at the time and we were going to leave for the Exchange and Commissary as soon as he was done). I started to say "I always do", then changed my mind and made a sarcastic comment. "Actually," I said, "I was going to drive with all of the doors open, and the trunk unlatched...and I was going to go in reverse the whole way." "Well, with the way you drive..." he said, characteristically knocking my driving skills. (For the record, I am not a bad driver. I am a terrible parker but I am NOT a bad driver.) "You know," I said, "I usually try to not be like this, many cars have I totalled [none] and how many have you totalled [two]?"
  2. When we turned Brandon's carseat around to forward-facing, we did it quickly in the Toys R Us parking lot (long story). Britaxes are easy to install and it doesn't budge so I'm 99.9% sure that I did it right, but I've been meaning to re-do it more carefully. As I strapped Brandon into his seat, I told him, "I really should re-install this thing." Then I immediately thought to myself, "I shouldn't have said that. Now I'm going to get into an accident."
  3. As I was pushing Brandon in the shopping cart from the Comissary back to our car, I saw that there wasn't anybody in the aisle where we were parked, so I ran top speed down the aisle because Brandon loves it when I do that. And as I stopped the cart next to the trunk of our car, the thought sprang into my head, completely unbidden, that if there was a scene like that in a movie, it would be to illustrate what a fun and loving parent I am, so that it's even more tragic when I die in the next scene. "Why the hell am I thinking things like that?" I scolded myself.
I almost bought a Pepsi at the Commissary today. I usually don't. I've kicked my caffeine habit. I have one maybe once a month, when I'm feeling tired - which I wasn't today. But there was this urge that I couldn't explain, almost as if it were coming from outside myself. I resisted somehow, though. After all, I had bought a candy bar at the BXtra (a macadamia/Kona coffee chocolate bar) and I didn't really need any more sugar and caffeine. I was thirsty but there was a bottle of water in my diaper bag. And the fridge with the Pepsi is way on the other side of the front end from the register I was at.

If I had bought that Pepsi, maybe I would have taken my eyes of the road for the split second it takes to unscrew the cap, or to screw it back on, or to put it back in the cupholder, and maybe I wouldn't have seen the silver/gray Jeep that was about to pull out onto the road in front of me. I don't know how he managed to be going so fast on such a short stretch of road, but he obviously hadn't checked to make sure nobody was coming, and he certainly wasn't slowing down.

I slammed on my brakes and my horn simultaneously. He saw me at the same time that I saw him, and stopped - already out in the road. It took my car a lot longer than I was expecting to stop - I'd say 1.5-2 seconds. I barely managed to stop in time.

(Purple arrow is me, orange arrow is the other guy.)

Before I had even come to a complete stop, the guy gave me a kind of a "sorry salute". He backed out of the street and I gave him a look and gesture that clearly said, "dude, what the FUCK?!?!" He gave me the sorry salute again. Well, sir, it's oh so very nice of you to acknowledge that it was your fault, but if I had been going just a tiny bit faster (I was going maybe 35 mph), or if I HAD bought that Pepsi and had been taking a sip, or if I had been picking up Brandon's milk and handing it back to him, or any number of possibilities, YOU WOULD BE DEAD, and I would be held legally responsible since I would have been the one who hit you. Even though it was actually your fault. You wouldn't have been able to acknowledge that it was your fault because you would have been dead. But, you know, the sorry salute makes it all okay.


Brandon, by the way, didn't even seem to notice that anything had happened.

Monday, April 2, 2007

bite me, lady

A couple of weeks ago I bought a new mint-green cami tank to wear to yoga class. Previously, I had always worn one of two tank tops: purple or pink, so the fact that I wore my hot pink Crocs to and from class wasn't all that odd.

They don't go with my new top AT ALL (the combination is a little bit reminiscent of the 80's style hot pink/fluorescent green color combo), but at 6:30am on a Sunday morning, I'm not really thinking about color-coordinating my shoes to my outfit - it's mostly about habit at that point.

Every week on my way home from yoga, I stop at Jamba Juice. I get a smoothie for myself with a protein boost (because Ashtanga Yoga is hard work), and one for Brian, and sometimes I get Brandon his own, although he usually just steals ours. I used to tie a hoodie around my waist because I felt self-conscious about going out in public wearing sweaty yoga clothes - although goodness knows that there usually aren't too many people in there at 8:30am on a Sunday morning. Nowadays I don't bother with the hoodie. I feel like I'm totally justified in going to get a smoothie after an hour and a half of sweaty, intense yoga, and if anyone doesn't like it, they can bite me.

Today a woman was at Jamba Juice who I recognized - she lives across the street from me. I've talked to her once, when her dog escaped and she spent the entire evening driving up and down the street looking for it. Um, okay, I've never had a dog and therefore have never had to search for a lost dog, but maybe driving up and down the block isn't the best way to search. I mean, on our block, there's TONS of open space behind the houses - on both sides of the street. The dog was probably halfway to the H1 and she was driving up and down the same block for hours on end. Duh. Anyway, the extent of our relationship up to this point consisted of the following conversation:

"Have you seen my dog?"


Anyway. I've never seen her wear anything other than super-baggy denim shorts (like, 5 or 6 sizes too big), and a t-shirt that's even bigger. Actually, in the "winter" (when the weather is maybe 5-10 degrees cooler than the summer, so LOW 80's as opposed to high 80's) she often wears a sweatshirt. Hugely oversized, of course.

So here we both are at Jamba Juice. I'm wearing my sweaty yoga clothes and hot pink crocs, and she's wearing her usual bag-o-rama, with stringy hair - I don't know how it's possible for hair to look like that so early in the day, unless she just doesn't brush it.

I make eye contact and smile. I'm fully prepared, antisocial hermit though I am, to say hi and strike up a nice conversation. Does she smile back? No. She raises her eyebrows and scans slowly down my body, lingering at the shoes.

Okay, so the shoes don't match, whatever. YOU'RE ONE TO TALK, LADY, as if your Louis Vuitton purse (which I suspect wasn't even real) really goes with YOUR outfit - XXL t-shirt and shorts so big that they're not just baggy, they're almost the length of capris.

Maybe you take offense to the fact that I'm wearing tight clothes? Lady, people come into Jamba Juice wearing bikini tops. I have every right to wear what I'm wearing. I don't need your approval on my yoga gear. Or maybe you're one of those bitter women who hate the "lucky bitches" who are in shape after having children. It's not luck. It's called exercise. Try it.

It's odd that I feel such hostility and defensiveness after spending the morning centering myself on the mat. I guess it's something that I just have to work on. But seriously, this white trash ho-bag can BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS.

And for the record, as soon as I get my first paycheck (I haven't posted about my new job yet, but I will soon), I am going to get this new style of crocs, in an as-yet-undecided neutral color.

Sunday, April 1, 2007

because Kramer would totally fall alseep and let all of the animals out of his petting zoo

If you watch Playhouse Disney with your child, and you get frustrated about having seen the same episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse twelve times in one week, you can make it more interesting for yourself by imagining that it's an episode of Seinfeld. Mickey is Jerry, Donald is George, Goofy is Kramer, Daisy is Elaine, Minnie is any one of the girls Jerry has dated (take your pick), and Pete is Newman. You can exercise your imagination while your child learns about patterns and colors and "big, bigger, biggest of all". Have fun.