Me: "I just don't see how someone could get knocked up and not take it as a wake-up call that they should change the way they live their life."
Brian: "You did it. Twice."
Me: "I was MARRIED. It's not getting 'knocked up' if you do it on purpose."
Brian: "So they ARE mine? Wow! Jack, I'm your real father!"
Me: "Haha. Who else would it be? I never have any kind of social interaction with...well, anyone."
Brian: "I don't know, you just baked a cake for John Mayer."
Me: "Oh, when have I ever met John Mayer?"
Brian: "Twice, apparently."
Me: "For the record, you know, I didn't bake a cake for John Mayer. I baked a cake to enter a contest that John Mayer is running, to try to win a guitar for you."
Brian: "Well, yeah. 'Cause, see, I would actually play it, not just sniff it."
Me: "I never said I would sniff it, I said I would sleep with it under my pillow."
Brian: "Liar! You never sleep."
He's right. I would totally sniff it.
Leave It To The Pros
2 hours ago